Lend a hand ‘spanking the monkeys’

Every year we play Pittsburg State, and every year we lose. I have a feeling that’s going to change this year.

Most years, we don’t have anything on Pitt State. We don’t have the talent, we don’t have the coaching and we definitely don’t believe we can do it.

This year, though, we’ve got something they don’t have: a conference win.

That’s right. I said it. Suck on that, Broyles.

So this year, we’re not just going to beat them. We’re going to spank them. We’re going to spank the monkeys.

Now, I’ll be honest: I’m so excited for this game that I’ve been spanking monkeys all week in preparation. I’m a little worn out, but I’ll still be there on Saturday to help cheer our team to victory.

I hope you’ll all do the same. I know with the entire student population trying to spank moneys in unison, we’ll be able to get enough power behind it to really get the job done.

Everyone needs to be there, though. Spanking monkeys can be a tough job sometimes. It doesn’t happen in a matter of seconds. We’ve really got to get out there and hit it hard to make sure the monkeys get good and spanked.

We can’t quit halfway through the game, though. All that will do is piss them off. We’ve got make sure to stick it out until the very end. We’ve got to keep on pushing until we’re able to reach the climax…of the game.

That’s the key, ladies and gentlemen. Come out Saturday and get involved in the effort.

You might have to get your hands dirty, and you might wind up with some egg on your face, but as long as Southern comes out first, then we’ve all done our jobs.