Republicans say the darndest things

Zech Wheeler, Campus Editor

The majority of Republican politicians have to be idiot savants. I cannot fathom what else might possibly excuse some of the bizarre, fallacious statements that seem to be trending in newsfeeds and headlines nationwide.

One would assume that someone with enough charisma, tact and political expertise to reach a position as an elected official would also have enough common sense not to assume that women are set up with magical ovulatory rape-pregnancy defense systems, or that heterosexual couples are incapable of contracting HIV/AIDS.

God forbid they go the extra mile and actually say these things out loud. With confidence.

To anyone.

And yet this seems to be the case.

In recent news, good ol’ Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin decided to flaunt his expertise on the delicate subjects of rape and abortion by quoting his imaginary friend Dr. Zootsmithturner (the loveable hobo doctor with a heart of gold who screams at passersby in a garbled mix of Spanish and Plutonian).

Akin decided to verbalize his understanding of the female anatomy according to the good doctor, stating that if a woman faces a “legitimate rape” her body will naturally fight invading spermatozoa.

She shouldn’t need an abortion if the rape is “legit”, and if she does happen to get pregnant then the rape was obviously not “legitimate” enough.

At least Mitt Romney had sense enough to disown Akin before his association dragged him into political purgatory before elections even began.

Though, Romney isn’t completely off the hook.

His string of recent gaffes recalls the distinct, pungent flavor of the Bush administration.

Now, I’ll level with Romney; we’ve got to have something in common (something more than our “shared Anglo-Saxon heritage”).

I can understand that being under constant scrutiny and vying for such an illustrious and important position as president could cause a substantial amount of stress, and stress might cause someone to say something unintentional.

No problem.

We’ve all said something stupid when put in an awkward position. Pressure can easily cause someone to slip up.

However, pressure doesn’t warrant babbling ignorance.

Romney has already shown us during his candidacy that his good intentions are going to be overshadowed by his lack of connection and understanding of other cultures.

While in recent interviews he has tried to emphasize his humanity as the root of his mistakes, he has yet to realize that the other candidates are human too.

We all make mistakes, but offering the position of president to someone who can’t adequately articulate their thoughts is like offering the scalpel to the receptionist rather than the surgeon.

Despite good intentions, things are still likely to get messy.

The Republican National Convention in Tampa might offer Romney a chance to save face, as he claims to aim towards focusing on policy rather than personal issues.

Good call.

He knows that people don’t seem to like him.

Considering some of the absurd things he and his party have been spouting recently, he’s going to have to present some impressive ideas if he has any hope of standing a chance in the coming election.