There is only one thing more annoying than getting called in the middle of something – your obnoxious ring tone.

While it isn’t obvious to the entire public from your shirt, sweatpants, jacket, baseball cap, banner, customized cup, team logo tattoo and trophy wall that you are a fan of your favorite college ball team, you have to parade around to the fight song in public. The team is as embarrassed for you as I feel watching you. Stop it, and don’t buy that flag. There are already two on your trophy wall.

The same goes for music fans. As if your copious amounts of eyeliner, so-called “man”scara, inverted cross necklace and Tripp jeans weren’t enough to scare the normal public away, you have Marilyn Manson screaming blasphemies over your phone. Way to be discreet.

Then there are those people who have the sexy whistle on their phone. I have stopped looking around when I hear this because I will unfailingly be disappointed.

Country bumpkins are the worst. This is because if they don’t have Larry the Cable Guy telling some mindless fart joke, they have the most nasal singer on iTunes attempting to sing about something or other in the regular country cliché; girlfriends who have left, dead dogs and liquor. These topics are tired and old, like your dog. That’s why the dog died. Like your music.

There are a couple of quick fixes to this problem. The first is obvious. Set your phones to beep, silence or vibrate.

The beep is loud enough to hear yet not too much of a distraction. Vibrate is a little louder but is less obnoxious than your fight song, Marlyn Manson, Larry the Cable Guy, etc. Silence is just golden. It always has been and always will be when it comes to cell phones.

The next option is a standard cell phone ringer, which comes free with every phone. It costs you $3 a month to annoy me, but it costs nothing extra to let you know you have a call.

The final option is to shut the thing off. I still am not convinced that the cell phone was a good idea. I mean really, do you want to be bothered when you are grocery shopping? Well, maybe you do, but I don’t want to hear it. Deal with it at home or the office.

I’ve had my say. Now, if I see you in public and hear your stupid ringer, I will lampoon you. You have been warned.