Don’t get ’em in a bunch, ladies

Don't get 'em in a bunch, ladies

Don’t get ’em in a bunch, ladies

In the 1999 romantic comedy Runaway Bride, Fisher, played by Hector Elizondo, says to Ike Graham, played by Richard Gere “When women whack you on the street because of your column, that’s negative attention.”

In the movie, Graham, via his column, makes several derogatory comments about the so-called fairer sex, causing the women of New York to retaliate and the film progresses from there.

Judging by the comments on thechartonline.com and the talk in the newsroom, we have found our very own Ike Graham in columnist Nathan Mills.

Last week’s “Seeking Lady Friend” column has generated, among other things, almost as much attention online as Missouri Southern’s current political turmoil.

One Southern instructor referred to the column as ‘raw.’ An acquaintance on campus told me it was “offensive trash” and she couldn’t believe we would run it.

Following the onslaught of hostility towards what I thought was one of the more amusing columns The Chart has seen in a while, I re-read ‘Seeking lady friend’ wondering if there was some egregious insult I somehow managed to skip over.

It’s not the lines about respect for musical taste or the plea for silence while driving, so it seems reasonable to say that it’s the underwear comments that have the women of Southern clucking like a bunch of hens.

I had the privilege of spending a year working for capitalism’s shrine to women’s lacy under things so I foolishly thought that a man’s regard for a lady’s panties was well established and even an accepted part of life.

Apparently I was wrong.

Given the number of things a man could expect of a woman, diversity in panties doesn’t seem like too much to ask. For less than $30 one can easily acquire several pairs of briefs, bikini-briefs, bikinis, low-rise bikinis, string bikinis, tangas, hip-huggers, boyshorts, thongs, V-string thongs or any combination of the aforementioned.

Considering the expectations average boyfriends or husbands are subjected to far exceed a preference in underwear. They usually include not just listening to and liking Kelly Clarkson, but buying the CD. So it seems like the ladies of Southern could be a little easier on our own personal Ike Graham.

Sure, he sounds like a chauvinist pig, but he’s damn funny.