I’m not going to lie — I was that freshman this semester stoked to be in her first college class. I got there early and put my game face on. I turned off my phone, put it and my keys in my bag, got out the required textbooks for the class and sat my laptop on my desk.

For about 10 minutes, I sat silently and listened to my professor begin to go into further detail of the course syllabus. After a while I lost interest and began to scan the room and look around at my peers. Then, I realized something.

For one, I was the only student with a laptop out on her desk. For two, I wasn’t learning in a 21st century learning environment anymore.

I graduated with the class of 2012 from Joplin High School. For the 2011-2012 school year we were given laptops as a replacement for the textbooks we had lost in the tornado.

So for the past year I’ve been studying, taking notes, doing homework and even reading text from a laptop.

Snap back to reality—I immediately put my laptop back in my bag and got out a notebook and pen. Doing this, I couldn’t help but feel like I was taking a step backwards this semester. I mean, I know that tecniqually I’m not because I’m furthering my education but at the same time I’m doing it in a way that to me, is old fashioned.

I can’t help myself to not ask the question of whether or not this will be a set back for me or any other Joplin graduates. Could what seemed as a blessing at the time end up being a curse in disguise?

Last school year I had to adjust my outlook on learning and teach myself new habits when I was given a laptop, but now I have to reteach my self the old stuff that I used to know. I have to re-adjust my outlook on learning and re-teach myself my old habits to back before I was given a laptop.

Confused? I am.