It’s good to be back. In case you haven’t noticed, we took a week off. “Why,” you ask. Well, we were celebrating. In case you didn’t know, November is national Pancreatic Awareness Month, Pulmonary Hypertension Month, Recycling Month, Alzheimer’s Month, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Awareness Month, Novel Writing Month, Kindness Month, Give Your University Newspaper Humor Columnist A Dollar Month, Toilet Paper Awareness Month and Peanut Butter Lover’s Month, just to name a few.

So, I spent my week off celebrating the joys of peanut butter and toilet paper (but not at once) and making myself aware of recycling, kindness and various diseases (which deserve recognition and awareness.)

Seriously, I’m not making any of these up. These are nationally-recognized months of the year where people will sit for months and months every year waiting for those glorious 30 days where they can pay tribute and respect to a well-respected, well-deserved commodity – toilet paper.

I do think some people are abusing the system, though. For example, November is National Peanut Butter Lover’s Month, while March is Peanut Lovers Month. How did that slip under the radar? After all the peanut hype, I decided to look into the process of how something can be nationally recognized during a month, or two. My exhaustive research, which was basically a search on askjeeves.com, led me to come to the following conclusion – people just make stuff up. I don’t think it’s someone’s job to sit behind a desk and stamp “Approved” or “Denied” on an application like we see in the movies. If so, I would really like that job.

So, I’ve decided to make November National Anagram Month. All month long, we should make notice of weird names and titles and try and re-arrange them to make them look even weirder.

For example, toilet paper can be re-arranged to make 2,878 different words and phrases, such as ‘a reptile pot’ or the ever-obvious ‘paper toilet’. No wonder it’s nationally recognized.

November should also be national don’t-skip-Thanksgiving-by-putting-all-the-Christmas-decorations-out-after-Halloween-month.

So, now that you’re aware, get out there and enjoy some peanut butter, make some anagrams, or better yet, write an anagram novel and don’t forget Thanksgiving or toilet paper.

And don’t forget give your University newspaper humor columnist a dollar.