Ever since I was young, I’ve emulated my father. I wanted to be like him, act like him, make jokes like him. I even wanted to dress like him.

Times have changed.

I still love my father, but there comes a point in every man’s life when he looks at his father’s pants and wonders “how can he possibly fit his hands in those pockets?”

I came to this realization early this morning. This particular morning I was late for an appointment, meaning I had exactly 43 seconds to get dressed and out the door.

Much to my surprise, I pulled on a pair of my dad’s jeans.

First, you must know that my dad is tall and thin, which means he’s required by law to wear really tight jeans pulled up so far above his belly button the legs of the jeans miss the floor by about eight inches.

While these jeans look standard on any father, my dilemma seemed like an episode of “Saved by the Bell” where Zack decided to try on Jesse’s jeans.

(After that he would get in trouble with Mr. Belding and try to scam the entire school so he could get rich.)

I guess my point is: my father hasn’t changed his wardrobe in 20 years.

This is the way it’s always been, though. For generations upon generations, kids have always been embarrassed by the way their parents dressed. Even back in the days of the Roman Empire, the sons of Caesar would run away for years because their father didn’t buy his clothes at the mall like they did.

So, they took his credit cards and went to the corners of the empire, where they bought a bunch of stuff for him, brought it back for him.

Despite the gesture, Caesar still stuck with his tight jeans, although he couldn’t ever use the pockets.

Jeans have come full circle. Now, the average teenage male’s pair of jeans could fit around three average teenage males.

The jeans issue has gotten so out of control in Virginia, the state’s delegates passed a bill stating a $50 fine will be given to anyone whose underpants are displayed in a “lewd or indecent manner.”

Seriously. If you don’t believe me, buy a pair of average teenage jeans, go to Virginia and see for yourself.

Or, if you want to save yourself the trouble, I’ll let you borrow a pair of my father’s jeans.