Don’t kid yourself; I want to drive the Zamboni.

Or, well, I wish I could.

I am so excited and just can’t hide it for the hockey season.

It’s about time the National Hockey League got off its little toosh and sent its players to the ice rink where they belong.

If you don’t know me all that well, you will now.

I am an avid hockey fan, growing up watching the St. Louis Blues every year. Later on, my fan base grew to love the New Jersey Devils.

I have seen the two wonderful teams duke it out on the ice twice, the Blues winning one and the Devils the other.

Any other time I see the Blues play another team like the evil Detroit Red Wings, I root for the home team, but in the case of when they play the Devils, I turn against my hometeam just for the fun of it.

Though the Blues have made it to the Stanley Cup playoffs for 25 consecutive years, they have not been able to secure that beautiful piece of silver the St. Louis fans have been dying to see. They have made it past the second round a few times, but never all the way.

A tidbit of information for all my fellow hockey fans – left wing Keith Tkachuk is back in the lineup after having failed his physical.

The reason – because he became Keith Tka-chunky, meaning 25 pounds overweight.

On the other hand, the Devils have won the coveted trophy three times in 1995, 2000 and 2003.

I think the only reason the team is able to go the distance is with the help of a certain goalie (who I have come to admire).

Defending the net can be difficult, but Martin Brodeur has all the talent in the world. No wonder the Devils are able to win the Stanley Cup; Brodeur is their secret weapon.

Like I said, it’s about time hockey came back.

After a year of no fighting, cross checking and icing, I was beginning to wonder if hockey would ever exist.

All the players were big babies over the whole “I want more money” ordeal.

I have one suggestion to make – grow up. They make more money in one game than I do all year.

Oh, and another thing, what is the deal with no All Star game?

The NHL is counting the Olympic break as the All Star break.

So much for seeing all the big-name stars slap pucks the rink for fun.

Enough of my complaining, let’s get it started. Hockey season starts this week. Root on your favorite team. And…

Remember keep your stick on the ice.