Take control of your future


Jessica Schriendl

You know that knotted feeling you get in your stomach when there’s something you need to take care of but really don’t want to? Senior year of college is like that everyday.

It’s as if you woke up from a peaceful dream filled with partying, basketball games and blowing off homework. Suddenly, you realize the four-year nap you’ve been taking is about to be over — and there’s no hitting the snooze.

So what do you do?

First of all, it’s time to stop believing the institution-created lie that you need to get a job after graduating. Who wants to purchase a suit you’re never going to wear again, spend hours fabricating a resume, and make awkward conversation with some stranger grilling you with questions like, “So where are you from?” What you should do is take that pretty piece of parchment paper boasting a bachelors’, hang it above your bed, crawl back in bed and pull the covers over your head.

Although being unconscious is an effective way of not coping with reality, you can only sleep for so long. A better option, for those of you who still live with your parents, is to never leave the nest.

If they don’t already know, don’t tell mom and dad you’re graduating. Most parents are OK with their kids living at home while in school. But after G-Day, they not-so-lovingly give you the boot. Of course, parents claim they’re doing this for your own good. In reality, they’re trying to get rid of you so they can be alone and chase each other around the house naked again.

So how do you pull it off? Simply get up every morning, grab some intellectual looking books and head off to the lake, mall or wherever your “school” is. Just remember, when you get home make sure you’re not bloodshot, sunburned or smelling like Captain.

A third and perhaps most drastic option is to continue your education. That’s right. I said continue. The real world can wait while you’re pursuing your master’s, doctorate, or second, third and fourth bachelor’s. If such higher-ed sounds too daunting, just find random tech schools around the country and spend your time learning job skills you’ll never use. Vatterott anyone?

However, if the prospect of being a professional student depresses you or living with mom and dad while sleeping your life away isn’t exactly your idea of a future, it’s time to get off your butt and do something — volunteer, intern, create a stellar portfolio and get those grades up. After all, you’ve spent the last four years of your life waking up early, staying up late and pretending to be interested in economics. It’s your future — take control of it.