Parking, personality same thing

For textbooks: Just the facts, maam.

For textbooks: Just the facts, ma’am.

Amber Hall

When I was working at Wal-Mart this past summer, pushing carts in nearly 100-degree weather in stiff khaki pants and a dark blue T-shirt, I noticed something peculiar about the customers that pulled into the Wal-Mart parking lot. I came to find that observing the way a person parks is a true reflection of their personality.

For instance, I once witnessed a beautifully designed silver Mercedes with no disability tags, park in a no-parking spot. It was as if the driver had decided that it was better than regular parking spots and snubbed the handicap spots, only to choose the spot with yellow stripes across it, which it believed to be its own personal VIP spot. It was, of course, no surprise to me that the driver of the silver Mercedes turned out to be sporting golfing attire with a country club logo printed on the top right side of their polo T-shirt.

The silver Mercedes turned out to be one of the many examples of a pompous parker-those who believe they deserve better than the regular parking spots. But beware of being too cocky with your parking. We, the mere civilians, will have the last laugh when your car is being towed for parking in a fire lane.

Another common parking personality is the ‘oh well I don’t care’ parker. These people park as crooked as possible while miraculously staying in between the yellow lines. Instead of taking an extra minute to straighten their mistake, they sport their ‘I don’t care’ attitude, comforted by the fact that they’re still in the lines. However, if the person in the car next to you has trouble getting out, don’t be surprised to find a well defined dent on the side of your car.

Then, there is the egotistical parker. These people tend to believe that their car requires more than one parking spot. Generally, these people drive the big-wheel, life-size Tonka truck, and therefore think that their car requires more room. However, in reality, the extra parking spot is really for their ego.

Now, while there may not be a chapter in Emily Post’s book of etiquette dedicated to good parking practices, it’s still always nice to know that there are ethical parkers that still reside in the world today. If anything the next time you commit a parking malfunction, just bear in mind that somebody out there is making assumptions about your personality.